Ruby Gets Real

Sun., Feb. 14, 2010 8:00 PM PST by Ruby Gettinger
Ruby Gettinger

Hi, y'all!

Thank you so much—your words of support have been AMAZING! I started on this journey so I could find out the truth. YAY! It is happening! I hope you'll continue with me and find out why some of us are compulsive eaters, why some drink and some do drugs, why some starve...

I am still crawling! I am a baby learning how to walk again. I feel as though I've been walking with blinders on when it came to me. Sometimes I am present in a room but not really there. I've been blessed to have lived in a shell that society would never accept and yet still found a way to be accepted. I learned how to survive in a world that did not want to accept me. Maybe, in a way, I forced them to see me—or maybe by me NOT seeing my own shell, it made me invisible! I am finding out I disassociate and avoid pain when it comes to me.

I am reading your emails, and as I read them I realize how the very core of us is childhood! Many of us have been hurt, disappointed, left, abused verbally and physically...and the sad thing is, it probably happened to us because it happened to the people who did it to us. We have to stop this vicious cycle! We have to find a way to deal with the pain. We can't keep covering up with work, food, drugs, alcohol, or even a person; all our devices make it worse.

What if our childhood wasn't perfect? What if our life shows us no road out? What if everyone in our past, present and future tells us we can't and won't? Do not give them the power to kill your PASSION, MIND, HEART and SOUL! Remember what I have told you before: The mind is very powerful. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy!

I am crawling right now, and there are times I want to just fall and not move and pray I can sleep all of this away. But I will not fall down, because falling is giving up! I will move, because not moving means I am frozen by fear. I will not let fear stop me; not fear of the past, present or future. I will not let sleeping blind me and cage me in any longer! I am finding out childhood is the core of who we are, and we must face it and deal with it. Once we do, it will no longer chain us in the past with hurt, fear, hate or guilt. All this does is keep us in bondage. It is time to see hope, love and peace! This will lead us to light, and the light will be the path to the other side: our freedom, our destiny!

It's hard to do this when you have an empty hole that only feels filled by your substance of choice. We have to stop filling the emptiness with more emptiness. We have to fill it by reaching out to another and learning to trust, love and believe—in ourselves first, and then others.

I promise you: The biggest thing I have learned on my journey is that there are more great people out there than bad! I am flabbergasted by the humanity y'all have shown to me and to each other. YOU, MY FRIENDS, ARE THE MIRACLE IN ALL OF THIS!

I have read a lot of your messages on mystyle.com, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace, and I see a lot of the same questions. We are going through the same journey. YAY! I am going to try and answer as many of your questions as I can:

1. DO NOT wait until tomorrow, because tomorrow will NEVER come—or it may come 10 years later. Start this very second. Start breaking your addiction right now, start your dream right now! If you mess up, start over again right then and your mistake will be erased. If you stay in your mistake, beat yourself up and continue, it will turn into repercussions that could last a lifetime. Write down everything you drink and eat in a notebook or journal.

2. I do have bad days, when the addiction tries to take me over again, again and again. I tell myself that one moment of pleasure is not worth the aftereffects. That one moment of feeling good is a lie from the pit of helicopter. That one moment of pleasure will put me in bondage! The biggest thing WE must do is reach out for help...make a call, text, email someone, call an 800 number. I have a new therapist, Dr. Jane Weilenman, who is helping me cross over. You have to talk and find out why you want that food, drug, person, alcohol that is KILLING YOU, YOUR FAMILY and YOUR RELATIONSHIPS! MAKE THE CALL! In the shows to come, you will see that the hardest part of this journey for me is reaching out and doing this, but because I am, it is saving me! YAY!

3. Go to the doctor and find out how your health is. Go get blood work, X-rays, etc. Stop avoiding—please do this! If my mother hadn't bugged me to death to go to the doctor, I would be dead by now. I had no idea I had diabetes, a liver with fatty tissue, cholesterol issues...I was dying because of diabetes. It is the silent killer! Please go get and get a checkup. Make the appointment today. If you can't afford it, there are free clinics out there that will help you!

4. My diet is Ourlife Fresh. It is not processed foods; it was created around diabetes, and I promise you it changed my palate! It taught me that there was a variety of healthy food out there I had no idea about. It taught me portion sizes. I went cold turkey on this for six months, and I give you my word: It was harder than helicopter at first, but now I love and crave the food! Please click here just to listen.

5. We have to exercise: Walk, ride a bike, work out with a trainer, work out with your friends, dance, box! Start out easy. You could try 15-20 minutes more than you do now, and work up to 4-5 times a day. (Definitely talk to your doctor before you start to work out—see how important that checkup is?!) Please email my trainers Drew and Shazi on their Web site; they are more than happy to give you a workout for your weight and condition. They will help you get started.

6. Please click here and read this page.

7. Yes! You can still order my book right here.

I met this amazing woman and her family—you will see her on upcoming episodes. Tennie McCarty. She is an overcomer of compulsive overeating, bulimia, codependence, compulsive spending, shopping, rager, workaholic. When you hear her story you will know why she had to go from one addiction to the other—and what she truly needed. Her book will be out soon: Black Baby: From a Survivor to Thriver. If you need to talk to someone or need advice, please click here and email them. They are there to help and they truly know what it's like to be where you are. We are not alone!

The new season has just started. I hope you'll watch with me every Sunday at 8/7c on Style.

Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.

Love y'all,
Ruby

Categories: ruby gettinger , ruby
Photo by: Style Network
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204 Comments

  • Heather Swanson Sun, Feb 14, 2010, 11:30 PM

    1. i have just watched a show during the new season and it involved the 12 step program. as a drug addict i wanted to let you know that you can be addicted to ANYTHING. i think food addicts have it the hardest since we all have to eat. i recommend giving the steps a try. i am currently working on my first 3 steps again. it is a spiritual program and i am grateful to it. without it i wouldn't be here. keep the faith and i think you are such a beautiful person. hope this helps

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  • Kember Dollarhide Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 12:11 AM

    2. Ruby * I am so proud of you. Sharing your experiences with total strangers takes GUTS!!! I couldn't wait to see the start of this season. You have people who love you that you don't even know. Your kindness and your love to complete strangers shows in each show that I have seen. Even when your down, please realize just what a inspiration you are to people, people like me. I have only a handful of childhood memories, and because of your show, I have taken control back of my life. Your courage is contagious. You are so beautiful!!! You are someone I look up to, and get encouragement from you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

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  • Surita van der Westhuyzen Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 12:52 AM

    3. Ruby. I am from South Africa and watches your programmes regularly on the Style Network. I cry with you, I laugh with you and wish I had your determination. I don't know how far behind our Ruby series are but you look very good. I weigh about 365 pounds (Just worked it out because we work in kg's). I just wish we had prepared food here that I can just go and pick up. Working out menu's is such a pain and i love all the wrong stuff. I need to do something urgently for my own health. Good luck on your journey and if you ever come on vacation to our beautiful country please feel free to contact me to take you around. Our family loves the great outdoors and travels quite alot.

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  • Mona Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 1:44 AM

    4. You are an amazingly brave person, and many others will be able to change their lives through your example, including me, I hope. Knowledge truly is power, as you show. It is terrible that life is full of pain for so many of us, but there is love too. I know you will have the happy ending you deserve, and thank you for sharing your journey.

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  • Chris Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 4:26 AM

    5. I think you are great, looking so beautiful, I got the book liked it bunches and I am going to Augusta for the Masters golf and we are coming to Savannah for the first time and I liked your episode with your friends at Tybee Island so we will tour that and I am very happy to see your state Georgia. You inspired me to keep exercising everyday and I want you to stay positive because you have really come so far in changing yourself all for the better. If you come to Riverside, Calif. I would be honored to play some Tennis with you at my club.

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  • Christine Davis Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:58 AM

    6. Thank you Ruby for doing this show. I enjoy watching it and learning as you are learning. Food addiction is the worst because it's most accepted and the most ignored. I started on my journey last year to lose weight. I was at 294 lbs standing at 5'3. I am doing Robert Ferguson's Food Lovers for Life program and since October 09 have lost 45 lbs and 44 inches. The program teaches us the correct food to eat, the correct portions, how many times a day to eat and to exercise. But that is just such a small part. I am a food addict. I used to hide what I ate. I ate for comfort. I ate when stressed out or something emotional happened. That is not who I am anymore or will ever be again. I'm on a journey to be the person I used to be but better with more knowledge and wisdom. I'm cooking and eating healthy meals and living a more healthy life. I applaud you for what you are doing and you have my support. We can do this together! Christine

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  • Donna Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 6:10 AM

    7. Ruby, I love you! I am 5 feet tall and weigh about 200 pounds. I have struggled all my life with weight issues. I do have to agree that childhood is the core of all our thoughts, ideas, struggles! I love the Lord, just like you do and when I came to Him I thought all of my problems would be solved and many have been; but coming to Him makes me realize just how much I had been burying with food, wrong relationships and obsessive compulsive behaviors. My darling husband has stuck with me through it all. We will be celebrating 30 years of marriage in April!!! We have 3 adorable, loving children and a wonderful home, so why are there so many anxious, fearful and destructive feelings and behaviors still being exhibited by me? I want to get to the end of it, too. I am almost 50 years old and I want to be FREE!!! I love you, Ruby, and thank God for your show, you are an inspiration to us all. I am going to get Tennie's book!

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  • Shelly Dunkerley Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 7:12 AM

    8. Please come to Waverly, NY!! I love and admire you so much:)

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  • Lisa Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 8:03 AM

    9. Hi Ruby. I am so proud of the progress you have made. I was abused, neglected and abandoned as a child, and have been in therapy fo rseveral years. I too disociate and have learned I have PTSD from all of my childhood trauma. I walked around also with blinders on and was never fully present. I saw it so clearly in you even 2 years ago when I first saw you in TV. Once you've been through it, you recognize it in others. I blocked memories and emotions that I had no idea were even there. When they came back, it was difficult. It hurt to my very core at times, but, now, I feel so much happier and closer to the woman God meant me to be. It is a struggle but worth the work. Keep trying. I know you will get there!

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  • Sharon Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 8:48 AM

    10. Hi Ruby: Really enjoyed the show last night. I am so glad you are back on. I was starting to have Ruby withdraw! LOL. My girlfriend and I were glued to the TV last night. Please be encouraged and don't be afraid to face your fears. Unlike most people in your situation, you have an entire nation of people pulling for you and praying you through this. Please know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13) and ALL things are working together for your good (Rom 8:28). Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God's got you and we love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Ginger Boyett Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 9:19 AM

    11. Ruby, you are a sweet lady and I really do love the whole you. That-a-Girl, as us rednecks say! You've come so far and have helped me more than you know. Im a addict to your show and enjoy watching it over and over. I sound like a crazy person saying that but, Im just a normal gal. I hope that God will continue to BLESS YOU and all your friends, family, and all! Looking forward to seeing YOU and ME reach our goals in life. Im sure we will meet in Heaven Christan sister. There will be no weight issues up there. Till then we struggle to do the right things. Thank You so much for being true to GOD and all your doing. You remind me of Gideon. fighting the fight and letting God lead you. MY WARRIOR RUBY, YOU GO GIRL! ** Like the saying --There will always be rocks in the road ahead of you. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them. Good luck and keep walking on those stepping stones! Cottonwood Alabama, Ginger Boyett

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  • Anne Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 9:21 AM

    12. Hey ruby I watched the show last night, I just had one comment about Georgia's son and the weight gain. My son has aspergers also and depending on the medication weight gain is a given we started on medication that caused my son to gain 10 pounds in a week I was devastated. Please do not be to hard on him because the weight gain is not his fault. We have since put him on a medication that supresses his appetite and he is no longer gaining the weight. I just felt I needed to say that in the childs defense. Keep doing what you are doing and fight those demons no matter how much it hurts.

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  • Sharon Hawk Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 9:36 AM

    13. Ruby, you understand. I have this terrible urge at night to eat. My husband wakes very early for work, so goes to bed early. I feel the need to eat when I am alone because I can hide it. By watching you it convinced me to find out why I eat. My Mother also worked, I didn't think that I ever was upset about that, but maybe I was. I found comfort and still find comfort in eating when no one else is around. Then get on the scales the next day and have the regret and anger of the results. Hopefully I can find my way to solve my problem and start losing weight again.

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  • Deb Mallery Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 9:44 AM

    14. Ruby, you are so spectacular!!!!! I started losing weight last July 2009, right about the time I learned of your tv show. I got hooked!!!! I thought, here is someone that I can relate to and knows exactly what I am going through. I AM A FOOD ADDICT.... I loved the part in the show last night when it was said that "the disease is between our ears". I never thought of it that way, but it is true. I have lost 65# and need to lose 100 more.I struggle every day with the beast and I want to overcome the addiction along with you and millions of others that struggle. I want to form a overeaters anonymous group in my home town. I am currently checking into it and excited about the 12 step program. You are truley an inspiration to me and God knows many others. I am your fan and will continue to follow your journey.GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

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  • A friend in Cleveland Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 10:39 AM

    15. Hi Ruby!! I absolutely love your show. I am also a big girl, weighing in at about 340 pounds. I hate the way i look and feel. I know pure beauty is on the inside and my husband calls me and my body beautiful, but I think I have to actually feel that beauty before I can believe others feel it about me. This weight I have put on, I put most of it on about 16 years ago when I was pregnant with my son. Ever since then, it snowballed. I eat when I am hungry, when I am bored, when I watch TV, when I am on the computer, and for no good reason. Yes, I am addicted to food. I go to McDonald's and order an extra double cheeseburger, just in case I am still hungry after I eat my meal I ordered. I drink pop like a fiend. I think that is ALOT of my problem, too. A few years ago, I went on a weight loss kick. Went walking everyday. Drank lots of water. I lost 64 pounds and felt great. But then I quit and it all went back on and then some. Watching you I will start my weight loss journey again.

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  • Jennifer Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 10:48 AM

    16. I love you Ruby. I too have been overweight all my life. I had Gastric Bypass surgery Aug 28, 2008. I started at 489 and now weigh in at 320. I have lost alot and I'm so proud of myself for doing so, but I have a long way to go still. I am 5 foot 10 inches tall and I wanna weigh around 250 if not lower. I was wondering if you could explain to me the program you follow and maybe send me some links about it. You tryly are an inspiration to me. You are beautiful!!!!!!!!! I would love love love to meet you and all your friends. If you are ever in Alabama let me know please. Keep going Ruby! Together we can reach our goals! With lots of love, Jennifer

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  • DeafWAFan Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 11:23 AM

    17. Thank you for sharing your story, you are a force to be reckoned with. You are learning, in small steps, how to take the world back and make it the way it should be: yours. Childhood is the core of many things, you are right, and I hope you figure yours out. I also hope that, as devasating as the truth may be, that you can overcome it and be the Ruby you are. The Ruby you are meant to be, and supposed to be. You are a constant inspiration, and so has everyone else been on your show ** the women during Womens Fat Night, your trainers, Tennie, just about everyone. Tell the girls to keep it up, and they'll find out why ** just like you will. ** Thank you.

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  • Becky Reidenbach Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 1:20 PM

    18. Ruby, you are a beautiful, strong woman. You inspire so many people. I pray you will be healthy, happy, and successful. I understand your struggle with remembering your childhood. I believe God will show you, what He thinks you can handle in His time. I, myself have many wonderful memories of my childhood. But I also have some very painful ones as well. Some are still coming to me. I was sexually abused by a family member who gave me candy, after each time we "had fun." I grew up with the mentality that food made me feel better when I wasn't comfortable or happy. I am addicted to over eating. I know that now. And I intend to try the 12 step program to help me past the gratification that only food has given me in the past. I know God has a plan for me, and you, and I pray with all my heart, I am as worthy, and graceful as you are. God Bless you and everyone you love.

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  • Claire Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 1:29 PM

    19. You are an absolute inspiration!! Thank you xxx

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  • Kathy Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 2:36 PM

    20. Melissa Etheridge has a song that I just LOVE. I believe it relates to your topic here. It is called LEGACY. In it she says "...the legacy STOPS HERE!" I've kinda made it my "theme" song.

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  • Olivette Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 3:23 PM

    21. Ruby * You are a wonderful, brave, beautiful woman. A true inspiration to everyone. Hang tough girl!

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  • Sue Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 3:42 PM

    22. Ruby, I have not missed a single episode since you first went on the air, and I have enjoyed every minute of it! I have to say, I have been checking to see when your show would start up again, and was starting to get worried when I couldn't find any info on it. I was thrilled when I saw a promo and couldn't wait to watch the first show last night. I immediately saw a change in you...although you are still losing weight and on your diet/exercise regimen, there is pain visible in your countenance that is evidence of a much deeper change taking place. I believe your willingness to show the real emotions and struggles that you are experiencing througout this process are going to change people's lives. Thank you for allowing us all along with you on this journey that I believe will lead you to freedom and joy! Isaiah 41:10

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  • Irene Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 4:17 PM

    23. Great show although totally self absorbed. Maybe volunteering at a food kitchen would help you get away from your own problems. Anyway...best of luck..very inspiring. What's next? After you reach your goal, and you will with all that help, where do you go next? A talk show or a movie?? You are very photogenic and beautiful and will do well once you get over fixating on yourself. I guess it's hard when everyone around you wants to keep their job so has to tell you what you want to hear. Just stick with it...you are doing fabulous.

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  • Irene Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 4:26 PM

    24. Just a warning to be careful what you asked the Lord for help with. I asked for help with weight loss and am now allergic to many, many foods....even (sigh) chocolate. I have to check every single ingredient before ingesting so there is no soy, corn (dextrose, high fructose corn syrup etc), mushrooms, etc. etc. Even the nightshade vegetables which I love give me arthritic symptoms so this leaves very little I can consume. I guess that is one way to do it but a bit severe I think. Oh well, I guess HE knows what is best.

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  • Michele A. Robinson Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 4:34 PM

    25. Ruby, I am addicted to food and have been for a long time. I to can not remember much of my childhood and it is because of a childhood truama! I have dealt witht the childhood issues which make me over eat but have yet to deal with the food addiction. It is hard. I fight it everyday of my life and I am 48 years old. Therapy truely helped me heal with inside issues that made me fat but it has not helped me deal with the overeating, the food addiction. I know I am the only one that can do that. Keep up the good work. You are truely an inspiration to all of us.

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  • Christi Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 4:37 PM

    26. I hope you had a great Valentine's Day Ruby. I am also dealing with addiction and it is all about food..I am going to a Bariatric Clinic that is helping me take the right path to a better life.They treat Obesity and there is no surgery or anything involved but good nutrition..I do believe that my body had alot of missing nutrients because I am now taking several vitamin supplements and my new way of eating has cut my cravings in half..I go to my first weigh in tomorrow and I am excited..

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  • Tina Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 4:41 PM

    27. Irene you are a hot mess! Talk about self absorbed! Ruby is an inspiration to all of us that have struggled since childhood. I am hoping to break the generations of bad eating habits that curse my family! I am 3 weeks into my Dr. supervised life style change and down 19.2 lbs! I'm never looking back! Keep it up Ruby! I look forward to the next episode.

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  • Jennifer Abraham Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:00 PM

    28. Hi Ruby loved the new season show I think you look fabulous you have been such inspiration to me and everyone else so far ive lost 114 pds on this journey its been a struggle but manage to get through it somehow thanks to you .I think the 12 step program is awesome. A journey just isnt a thousand miles its a road to finding happiness and piece within yourself and accomplishing every aspect of your lifes desires to become the person you souly deserve to be and so my journey still continues right along with you thanks so much .lav yah xxxxooo

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  • Chelle Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:00 PM

    29. Hi Ruby. I love your show. Since I have started watching from the very beginning. I have started my own weight loss journey. I have lost 85lbs. I have had very low self esteem my whole life. Thank you for having the courage to share your life and weight struggles. Every time I watch an episode I shed tears.. I will reach my goal.

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  • Margaret Pennington Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:16 PM

    30. Ruby ,Ruby Since I have been watching you from the beginning It has helped a lot but the more I watch this season the more I eat ..You see my daugther is very over weight obeast ** I wounder did anything happen to her i tried to be the best mom I could be I dont know i just feel it is all my fault some how Yes I do know I am a enabler But what did I do to my daugther ,I am going to keep on persueing this until I grt to the bottom of this because now my granddaugther is over weight at age 11.Say a prayer

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  • Candace Zellner Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:18 PM

    31. Ruby, I had to write. I sufferd from obesity all my life. I went from 375 to 140 since 2002. Unlike you, I chose to have my stomach stapled. I am still a foodie and will always be one until the day I die. In fact, I am such a foodie, I watch the Food Network everyday. Somehow, it fils l the void of food that I am not able to eat anymore. I am also an isolater. I do remember parts of my childhood. Although I wasn't sexually abused by any of my family members, I was sexually abused by men in my life. I was raped at age 13 by a boy I knew. Then in my twenties, I was date raped six times. I suffered until I began counseling at age 26. I knew the weight was a way of keeping men OUT. Whenever I watch your show, I keep getting a feeling that you may have been raped by a baby sitter. Or someone in your extended family. However, I feel the babysitter the stronger. You are such a beautiful woman. You are so infectious and charsmatic that I am drawn to your TV series over and over again.

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  • Candace Zellner Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:25 PM

    32. I ran out of word usage so I didn't get to finish. I was saying how thankful I am that you are on TV bringing such a beautiful message to all that were or are obese. You are informing the World that we are not some freak. And that just because we are overweight, does not mean we are constantly eating. I give you much love and support. I hope the networks continue for a long time airing your show. I feel God chose you to be our voice. Thank you, Rev Candace Zellner

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  • Carol Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 5:41 PM

    33. Ruby, I just had to tell you how beautiful you are. I enjoy your show.And I pray it gets easier for you as you go. I have gained weight since my husband died 10 years ago. Hope I can start to lose some with Lent right around the corner. Keep up the good work * You have really done one heck of a job. Just remember you are a very beautiful woman and I know you can do it.

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  • Nancy Singh Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 6:42 PM

    34. Ruby, You are an amazing woman and I just love you and what you are doing. I watch you all the time. I read your book and I have a dvd of the first season. Please keep up the good work and I only hope one day I could meet you. I am one of you biggest fans (not weight wise) I am 57 years old and I am 5'1" and I weigh 212. I You are an inspiration to all. Thank You, Nancy

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  • Tammy Duplessis Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 7:11 PM

    35. Hey Ruby, Loved the new episode... You are just awesome. I've dieted my whole life, but what you have brought to light with your show really hits it on the nose. Hang in their Ruby, your going to make it and I'm right their with you. I watch your shows over and over again... always listening for that one detail that I may have missed....You are an inspiration to us all. I'm so glad God sent you to us...Obesity it real and it's about time the truth about it is understood. Hopefully we'll get the respect that we deserve. Love you Ruby....keep up the great work....Your friend, Tammy

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  • jamie nemeth Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 7:30 PM

    36. hi ruby, i just wanted to tell you i absolutely love your spirit. your beautiful smile is a reflection of what is inside you. enjoy your journey, after all that's what it's about. i'm a friend of rosie and if i'm not mistaken you saw her the other day. she is another who's spirit shines. be well dear heart and know that you have a hugh group of people who are rooting you on.

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  • nanchan Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 7:53 PM

    37. I have to say that in some ways I do agree with Irene. I was pretty angry at points through this last episode: the way that Ruby attacked the son of her friend made me turn the tv off. It reminded me of people who stop drinking and then freak out when anybody has a drink, or an ex smoker who passes judgement on people who do smoke. The point is, that it is everybody's CHOICE to do what they want to with their lives. I was also more than a little horrified about how something so extremely personal as a twelve step program was brought into basically a ladies social. It felt like it trivialized it. I was heartened at the end of the show by how she realized some of her challenges.. and I am a fan of Ruby and her character. But taking on the role of judge and jury with the teenager, as well as to to trivialize the twelve step program which has worked for MILLIONS of people in all sorts of addiction situations... well, in my opinion, that's taking it a bit too far.

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  • Lindsey Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 7:54 PM

    38. Ruby, Hey I'm a 27 year old that has been struggling with a food addiction for about 8 years now, I have been trying to figure out why im addicted to food and just recently after starting weight watchers I have realized i eat from stress and bordom..............OMG this you would think would be very easy to fix but no absolutely not true ive been watching your show for a while now and you give me motvation to be myself and love who i am you ms ruby are a gift from God him self. Ruby please give the step program a try you may get more out of this than you ever expected. p.s..........we are neighbors im from alabama so that makes us true southern bells!!

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  • Becky Mason Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 8:34 PM

    39. I think you are the most incredible person on television. I find you to be an inspiration, you are so real. I think every single piece of progress you make, big or small, is amazing! One of my goals in life is to someday meet you and shake your hand. I know you are a person I would be the best of friends with, under normal circumstances, (i.e. we worked together, were neighbors, went to the same school, etc); i wonder if you like cats? Some of the best friends I have ever had were cats. Not to take anything away from your dogs, luv them too, it is people I sometimes have a hard time liking. Good Luck on you journey, you look amazing already. Lets plan a trip to Dollywood, my husband, best friend and I have always wanted to go. Let us know if you are up for it. Good Bless You, you have been a pleasure to watch.

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  • Becky Mason Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 8:44 PM

    40. U GO GIRL, U SOOOO GO! P.S. Luv, luv, luv, the jeans and white sweater.

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  • Rosalie Eulett Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 10:21 PM

    41. Ruby,I watch your show as often as I can.You are my hero!!!!I feel you are blessed with the people around you,the moral support,respect and love they have and show you.How they are there for you.It says alot.I really need to know how you were able to pull a team together like yours.Do I have to move?I'm lost and at the point of just giving up and getting out of the way of my family and not being a burden to them or anyone anymore.Tired of being pushed aside,I know it's gone on way to long of not taking care of me but I also know I am unable to do this by myself.I need guidance.I'm hoping that maybe you might be able to find the time to help me.Thank you even if you aren't.~Rose~

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  • mandy Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 10:40 PM

    42. Ruby.. you are totally amazing!! The first time i watched your show i called my kids into the room and had them watch with me. I thought u were the most beautiful person and couldnt wait ti watch the next show. I had a bad childhood and have struggled with weight most of my adult life. All of my kids are normal weight but my youngest.. my baby girl shyanne.. my cuddle bug.She is eight yrs old very beautiful, smart ,funny and also very sensitve. MY weight started climbing after i had her and she has had me as an example of how NOT too eat. It BREAKS MY HEART to know what she is going thru, getting teased by her brother,sisters and even her dad has made comments!! It make me want to rip their heads off!! We talk about eating healthy and exercising and buy healthy things to eat but the rest of the family whine and moan and my husband is completely unsupportive.How can i help her If i cant help myself and cant get my husband and other 3 kids on the band wagon? xoxox mandy

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  • james Mon, Feb 15, 2010, 11:24 PM

    43. You make me feel like I can get healthy.

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  • Roe Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 1:50 AM

    44. People have opinions, Go, Irene! Me=12 Step Program for years. Learned you must "give it away to keep it" * Recovery). Volunteered at Soup Kitchens on holidays. Filled up on gratitude as day went by. Didn't need to self-destruct/binge. I KNOW I'm a compulsive overeater. Hey, I am 5" 3"/ top weight 361 pounds. Eat 1800 calories per day, maintain 125 lb, eat 3500 calories per day, 361. R. says "I don't eat much. I just eat the wrong foods". 715 lbs. worth? Baloney, I never met a food, and said "NO" to if in the wrong frame of mind. Or if it was Monday, or I has happy, or sad, or Wednesday, or if I was angry or anxious. I don't have a problem with food. I have a problem with LIFE. I find a sick, momentary solution to that problem, in the food. I love Ruby. &God knows I am a pain. But she does "take prisoners", is a brat at times. Was bad, bad to Jeff's girl. Has to be the center of attention ALL the time. She will have to change these character defects to lose the rest wt.

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  • Jacqueline Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 6:41 AM

    45. Hi Ruby, I just want to say to you how much of an inspiration you are. I'm not really overweight, maybe 10lbs or so, but somehow I always sabotage myself when I start to lose it. Like you said, I'm pretty sure it's rooted in my childhood. You are such a beautiful person, everytime I watch your show I like you more. Take care and keep strong honey

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  • april Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 6:43 AM

    46. i have struggled with my weight.i know there is some inner seceret i am keeping as to why i turn to food so easily.my breaking point 321lbs.i was mortified i got to that point and truly couldnt tell you how at the time.then i started a weightloss program and was being successful at it.i lost 86lbs in 7 months.i was ecstatic but became obsessed with the idea of loosing wieght.now i am off the program and quickly gaining it back.it is a life changing process that helps you loose and keep off the weight.it is a monster you battle everyday and i don't think you can possible cure it or even try to tame it in a short period of time.that is why it is a process and not an event.we all know we have to change our behaviors to be sucessful at taming the beast.and it is not easy to do.its not as simple as just cutting our caloric intake.its the discovery in the whys and hows and what to do to keep from returning to that person. YOU GO RUBY!i wish i could meet you.you truly inspire me!

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  • Dianna Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 7:25 AM

    47. i absolutely love ruby. i have folowed her since the first show. it does my heart good to see her want change her life and to have the strength to do it. i also struggle with weight. i have since my late teens. my highest weight was 274 and my lowest was 134. unfortunately i am back arond the 200 mark again.it is a struggle that i deal with every day. how lovely to have others who do not judge, just support. i love you ruby and you will conquer your demonds.

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  • pmagliette Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 8:20 AM

    48. Ruby is an inspiration to me. If she can do it, so can I. Tough to change a lifetime of wrong choices- but today is the day to start.

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  • lynne ercolini Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 9:10 AM

    49. i haven't seen the new show yet. i have it tivo'ed. i posted in august about my childhood experiences of molestation and then rape. bad things happened to me beginning at 5 and ending at 18. in 2005 i went to Shades of Hope in Texas, Tennie's place. it was the beginning of my journey to dealing with my food addiction. however i was still not quite ready and after being there for 6 weeks, i went home and relapsed after 2 months. the death of my dog in 2008 started my journey again,only not on my terms this time. the memories of my childhood, that incidentally, i never forgot, just buried under an extra 150 lbs, came to the surface and could not be contained. luckily i had gotten myself into therapy to prepare for her death before this happened. my past 2 years have been full of depression, suicide attempts, self injury and PTSD. i am doing a little better, at least i don't want to die, yet living isn't that great either. i have learned so much over the past 2 years and i am still alive.

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  • Ava Rappaport Tue, Feb 16, 2010, 9:54 AM

    50. Your new show really opened up my eyes to many things of my past. Ruby, I compend you on this segment, Please, keep up the good work.....Love ya

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