74 Kids, and More on the Way: Style Presents Sperm Donor

98 Comments

• nikrena Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 7:10 PM

  1. I have a similar situation. I used a sperm donor to have my son. I found 4 of his siblings. We have been in constant contact with his brother and sister in NY and we visit each other often. Luckily our kids are still young and can actually grow up together. How can we get on the show? LOL!

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• Suzanne Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 8:46 PM

  2. The episode tonight on Sperm Donors was great!!! Well done, expertly handled, and touching! I want to know more about Lauren and Ben...the ending was a cliff hanger!

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• Courtney Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 9:42 PM

  3. Ben seems like a great guy, who made a decision and didn't realize the consequences but accepts them. His fiance however doesn't like the idea that he has 74 kids out there. And she selfishly wants him all to herself. Sure, that's completely acceptable for someone to ask for but this baggage that Ben has is way beyond himself. Dozens of kids out there need at least a small part of him in their lives at one point or another, afterall he is their father, and Ben obviously wants to have some part of connection with them, showing by the connections he's already made. His fiance just needs to get over herself and think of all these little kids who wonder about their dad.

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• Belinda Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 9:47 PM

  4. I conceived using donor sperm 18 yrs. ago. Thanks to DSR we found siblings on my daughter's 15th birthday. She has met and formed a relationship with one 1/2 sibling. I was honest with her at a young age, telling her a doctor had helped us. I do not advocate becoming a single parent by choice. I now believe there is a reason God designed children to have 2 parents. I enjoyed the show.

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• Julie Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 10:12 PM

  5. I hope Lauren has considered the option of being with Ben whenever he does anything involving his biological offspring * including meeting them. She could be as much of a "mother" to the children as Ben is a "father". I can't imagine how overwhelming it must be for her, but what a blessing it is for the mothers who would otherwise not conceive. The women don't seem to want more of a relationship with Ben than to satisfy their children's curious natures. And the adolescent children seem more interested in their siblings. If Lauren truly loves Ben, it includes this strange outcome of something he did before he met her. And if she is as intelligent and creative as she seemed on the show, I'm sure she can find a way to change this negative into a positive.

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• Stella Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 10:14 PM

  6. Lauren needs 2 get over herself? R u serious Courtney? This is real life and Lauren has real feelings. This man has OVER 70 kids out there! That's a lot for ANYONE to deal with. Ben is the one that's selfish. He should have thought of the potential results...maybe not so much from donating, but more from adding his profile to the registry. This kids r going to want to continue to c this man, and that mother of the 2 kids acts like she wants hjm to b a part of the kids lives. He has opend a can of worms thats going to hook him and maybe sink his marriage b4 he gets one foot down da isle. I dont blame Lauren, I would have concerns also. What's next; these single moms get lonley and start to call Ben 4 every bday, grad, wedding, hospital visit....only to get closer to him. How can he b there for all of those kids AND Lauren and her future kid(s). Not enough of this man to go around. This is a disaster and was VERY selfish!

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• Sylvia Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 10:16 PM

  7. I really enjoyed this show, I commend anyone who willing to donate there sperm to help other people who want a child. Don't every question something that God has allowed. Even if your a single parent trust that you made the right decision.

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• Stella Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 10:21 PM

  8. Btw, if some of these single moms chose to have kids as a single parent, then leave it that way. Y r they looking for pops now? I'll tell u y...they were desperate thinking the clock was running out and couldn't find a man. Now that crazy lady is sitting around looking stupid saying she hopes he doesnt cut all comm. What if all 70 says the same? Poor Lauren, "Open House". Imo, i feel that the mom of da 2 small kids wishes she DID have that relationship with Ben that the daughter fantasizes about. She was looking lonely and sad at the end. Smh...she made the single parent choice!

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• Mia Tue, Sep 27, 2011, 10:41 PM

  9. Um anyone else thinking Lauren's head might have exploded when she saw how she came across on screen? I definitely don't think her thoughts and feelings mirror what came across. I'd be furious to see myself come across like to the millions that will potentially watch this. I think this has the potential to have interesting follow-ups. Watching the girls meet more siblings and Ben and Laureen meeting more of his kids. I'd tune in again. I'd also put money on Lauren learning how to work the cameras and the audience.

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• ILikeBeingMarried Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 5:42 AM

  10. Few times in my life have I been shaken up so much by a tv show. Why do we allow sperm donors to father so many kids??? In some countries they have cut offs with live births, like 10 per sperm donor. We don't want to overwhelm a population with too many of one person's genes. There could be diseases out there we don't know how to scan the donor for yet. Also, with reduced variety in the gene pool we are more at risk as a species to die out. This whole thing is just plain dangerous. Also, I don't understand why it is so hard for people to find a spouse. I have been married for 17 years and I love my husband. My kids love their dad. The whole sperm donor thing outside of marriage is just plain dangerous. It is nice to have a back up parent in life. You can do more with your kids when you have two parents. I think there may be something emotionally lacking with some of the people who can't figure out how to find a mate * share the responsibilites. Next episode pleas

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• ILikeBeingMarried Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 6:06 AM

  11. Also, what happens if Ben keeps meeting his donor sperm kids and finds one impoverished or ill. Will he step in monetarily or emotionally to help his own flesh and blood. How will this effect his new wife and and time spent away from her and any children they may have. Also, will Lauren feel her kids are less special to her husband since there are so many others out there. Will Ben's feeling about being a dna contributor change after he eventually fathers his own kids with the new wife. This show could go on for years. It is a real live soap opera. Lauren is going to have to become some sort of saint for this marriage to work....can she become that saint? I think Ben should NOT meet with any more of his donated kids. It could get really bad. It is fine if the siblings meet though.

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• Clause Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 7:04 AM

  12. What an unexpected suprise to see a story similar to my life. I have 3 boys who share one donor. Our life has been amazingly great. We have made contact w the other 6 sibs. The boys are in contact w some of them on a regular basis. We have not met any of the other sibs, nor do we know the donor. The questions and situations have passed through the lives of my boys and I am happy to report all is more than well here. We have used this situation as a teaching tool for understanding, compassion and knowledge. The boys and their sibs have a curiosity about the donor, however it is far from a priority in their lives. All the kids(sibs) are above average in school and life. I believe in being honest and most of all keeping their lives simple when it comes to this subject matter. My 3 boys are in high school as well as all the other sibs. They will one day determine when and if they wish to meet their sibs. For now, phone and gaming contact keeps them content.

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• Marriedandlovingit Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:37 AM

  13. I just finished watching the show about Ben and Lauren, and for the most part, it's very interesting and disturbing. Whether Lauren likes it or not, he is the father of 70 kids. Those kids didn't ask to be brought into this world, and how selfish of her to respond like that. Yeah, it's alot to take in, but for better or for worst you're marrying him which means you're accepting all his flaws and decisions that can't be taken back. It's not to late for her to back out of the engagement...because whether she like it or not there is a possibility that some of those kids will reach out later in life. I wouldn't marry her because already she's showing her true colors.

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• Go "Green" Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 11:35 AM

  14. Now that everyone is seeing the importance of going "green", why not take it a step further and ADOPTING! To me it's a little selfish to want a baby so badly that you'd spend so much money for the procedure... risk you and the baby's health by giving birth at the age of 38-45... then risk your children marrying their own siblings because now there are 75 kids who don't know that they are related!!! Get over yourself and go down to the local adoption agency and take home a child that is already here and has no family or home. That one lady on the show had a donor baby, then died 5 years later... so the young girl now has no mother and doesn't know her father... so what was the point??!! I say, Go GREEN and adopt children that need you instead of worrying so much about your own selfish desires. And instead of searching for your children's biological father online, you can spend more time finding them an actual father-figure by dating....

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• Go "Green" Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 11:38 AM

  15. And I don't think Ben's fiance will marry him. Her last words on the show were "I don't want to share you." And Ben putting his identity on the registry shows that he wants to be contacted by his children... not to mention how overjoyed he seemed at seeing and playing with the 2 kids. So I just don't see how the marriage is gonna work out in the end. If they marry, I can see his wife being a total b&$^@# instead of trying to find some kind of common ground, like just having an annual "Daddy Day BBQ" or something lol

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• Sharon Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 1:06 PM

  16. Go GREEN, As a married mother who had to turn to a sperm donor to have our child, how dare you say ADOPT. You have no idea what it's like to have to walk this path. WE DID TRY AND ADOPT!!! It's not like getting a puppy at the pound!! Adoption is not cheap, it's painful when the child that is placed with you, ends up going back to it's birth parent after you have fallen in love. I don't understand why I'm selfish for wanted to give birth to my child. I hope you never have to walk this path, but Im pretty sure since your so "all knowing * that when the time comes for you to have children you'll march right down to the adoption angncy and get one. Oh and just so you know Ben and Lauren are married now and living im MA. To me men who are sperm donors are heros in my eyes. Without our donor I wouldn't be a parent to my daughter or a parent at all!

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• Susan Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 1:22 PM

  17. I think donating sperm so that women have the opportunity to have a baby is a beautiful and amazing gift. Regardless of the insecurities of Ben's fiance....these young adults are amazing people who would not be here if he hadn't made the choice to donate. Sure, it may have been for financial reasons, but these children are wonderful people who make this world a better place. To me, that is ALL that matters. * *

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• Marie Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 2:34 PM

  18. Being a sperm donor and not thinking that the kids will want to know you is selfish. Bringing children into the world and thinking you can rationalize this is selfish. Marrying a man who had kids before you and demanding that he not have anything to do with them is selfish.....does anyone see a pattern here? Sometimes we have to think before we make decisions. It's only the children that get hurt. This is coming from a single mom who didn't consider how good of a dad the man I had children with would be. Now my kids want a relationship that is not available to them. Both he and I were selfish!

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• Fan Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 5:42 PM

  19. Ben, I am soooo proud of you. You gave families the joys of having a child that they otherwise would not have been able conceive. Ben, my arms are wrapped around you for being so selfless and because of your sperm there is a President of the United States in the making. Your fiancé is overwhelmed with something she knew about for three years. She continues to reiterate on national television that she wants you all too herself. Hmmmmm, Ben take this new found situation a step at a time, a second at a time. Digest and continue to embrace a important part of your new life

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• Melinda Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 6:14 PM

  20. Thank God for Wendy Kramer. More programs like this need to be made to make people aware of what is in store for the future. This is only the tip of the iceberg. I was an egg donor coordinator for a fertility registry for six years. In about five years children born out of egg donor arrangements will be coming of age and probably will be looking for their biological mothers. It is going to be challenging because alot of these donors did not want their families to know what they were doing. Another problem is medical issues. My daughter was a donor 3 times. I know of 3 children that were born out of these arrangements. Recently I was diagnosed with a painful hereditary disease. At the time of my daughter's donations we were not aware of this. Who is going to let these children know that they could be at risk? So many things that were not thought about. Who is going to help these children?

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• A Mother Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 8:32 PM

  21. Hi, Ben I know you are reading our comments... I think I am so torn about knowing what the future will hold for you and your family. I do feel that regardless of the relationship you have with your progeny, YOU ARE FAMILY! I really hope your wife learns that as difficult as this situation is, you have 74 kids and that one day they may be part of your life in some capacity. I hope you do continue a relationship, esp with those two you visited they seem to need you. I could see in your eyes that you needed the connection as well. I Don't know if you are praying person but some infinite guidance maybe in order. I would have suggested that you just not be involved at all with these kids buts really I feel its too late pandora's box has been opened. I am a single mother in a serious relationship, and their bio dad is not consistent in their lives, and my fiance has to pick up his slack, but its hard to replace an absent parent. Good luck on your journey. Love to see a follow up!

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• Sarah Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 8:51 PM

  22. Watching this documentary, I'm thinking about the fact that in 2005, I donated 23 eggs, and that any children that came to be from that would be around 6 years old now. Of course, the agency used lawyers to make sure that the children could never know who I was... the doctors never even knew my name (I was always just a random number in their records)... but it makes me think. My husband and I remain child free by choice, and will likely continue to. Over the years I have donated many things (bone marrow) and will donate my organs when I die. I hope that any children born from the eggs I donated find all the love they need from the infertile mother that my eggs were donated to, as she is the true mother, and I merely provided a little genetic material which she sustained inside her body for 9 months and then, God willing, has been lovingly nurturing with her husband. That is my wish.

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• shocked Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:11 PM

  23. I think Ben and the mother made a bad mistake meeting each other.........if a women go to a sperm bank then she should accept the fact that she would not and should not meet the father, it is her choice to go in get sperm from a random guy. These guys have family and kids with their wives and if you product a child by him then that good,but you should not try to seek him and mess up his family life....get you own....why destroy someone else life because you feel like it....get a life and grow up!!!! It was you decision to get sprem from someone with no name,face or history so DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!

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• Katherine Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:14 PM

  24. I am the product of a sperm donor and I think it's absolutely absurd that Ben has contact let alone meeting kids his donation produced. Aside from a medical history and maybe a picture there should be no contact in my opinion. He helped out many women for which ever reasons could not have kids the "normal" way. This in no way makes him a father of 74 kids and I was amazed to hear his fiance state he should have thought about consequences. Really wow. Meeting, especially kids from a single mom when they are such a young age is not a good idea, they are not old enough to understand let alone seperate the fact of biological and father figure. What was the point of them meeting? They hung out like a "family" not sit down and discuss medical information or why his sperm was choosen. By meeting the young children and interacting with them as he did will only make matters worse. He donated sperm not volunteered to be a father figure...leave it at that

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• crazy Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:27 PM

  25. These women that accept the donate sprem need to get a clue!!!!!!

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• CONCERN Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:36 PM

  26. I don't know why these women are seeking the sperm donors......you don't even know what type of guy he is he could be some kind of molester.....what are these women thinking!!!!!!!

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• jim Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:53 PM

  27. Watching this program just depicted what I have felt and thought, indeed KNOWN intuitively about this subject every since I first gave it any real thought, which was only recently. And that came about only because someone close to me just had herself "artificially inseminated". The only problem with that, as the documentary clearly points out is.. there's nothing "artifical" about it when you're creating real new children with hopes and dreams and desires and feelings. You don't have to be a genius to know the kids will eventually want to meet their father and hopefully develope a relationship with him. How mindless does a person have to be to sell his friggin sperm multiple times? And how irresponsible is it for an AGENCY to then turn around and SELL that sperm to multiple different women. How could they not forcast the emotional turmoil they are creating for so many future children?

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• jim Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 9:57 PM

  28. And where are the state and federal laws in all this. I find it hard to believe that our regulation-happy legislators have allowed the sperm-selling industry to operate for the past 2-3 decades apparently virtually unchecked.

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• Jamelle Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 10:05 PM

  29. Ben Just wanted to let you know that I think what you have done is absolutely awesome. You said in the show that what you did may have been irresponsible. Please do not say or feel that. There are so many families that can not have children the natural way. You and many like you allow these families to have their dream. Yes 74 and counting is a lot. But that is 74 people that would not be here without you. You are wonderful.

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• jim Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 10:12 PM

  30. I'm about as close as you'll ever get to being a libertarian, but the societal ramifications of this obviously mindless and selfish approach to family development were easy to forcast 20 years ago when, I guess, it first started; so only people who would like to subvert our culture would orchestrate such a wholly unregulated and humanly insensitive paradigm. But where were the conservatives? MIA apparently.

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• Katherine Wed, Sep 28, 2011, 10:26 PM

  31. * Jim, My mother and (non-biological) father had four kids via this method and none of us has ever wanted to meet or have a relationship with the donor or other possible half siblings. My dad is my father biological or not and my siblings tho only half are my real siblings. If I ever did meet the donor I would only want medical information and to thank him for donating which in turn is why I'm here in the first place. Without people like Ben, couples like my parents who have been married for over 30 years could not have had the wonderful family we have. There should be no "relationship" between the donor and the offspring produced PERIOD!

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• Marble Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 7:23 AM

  32. Very interesting documentary, I've read other stories similar to this. Anyone remember the story of the doctor who was "donating" and his kids were all wearing eye patches and that's how they found out? There definitely should be a limit of donations and perhaps geographically separated. While it sounds exciting to have all these "relatives", especially if you come from a small family, that many offspring reeks of disaster! I feel for the women who can't get pregnant, but just the first impression of Ben * yikes! The fact that he's tall looks to me like a plus but he is not coming across as a brainiac and that's something that would be first on my list for an attribute. So many questions, so little time. I vote limit on donations, contact for medical history only.

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• ash Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 7:29 AM

  33. What Lauren does not understand is that any children she has with Ben will also be related to those 72 kids * it is even more selfish for her not to consider that they may want relationships with some (or all) of their half siblings, too. * as an adoptee I find it incredibly offensive that Lauren can hardly refer to Ben's children as anything other than "offspring." We are PEOPLE just like you * like most people, our biological families can be just as important to many of us whether they are in our lives or not. Yet these people have the same rights violated as adoptees when it comes to knowing who they are, where they came from, * whether or not they can reunite with their other family members. How many siblings will be displaced before people consider the impact this has on them FIRST?

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• Lynne Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 11:59 AM

  34. I am a single women that is using a sperm donor to have a child. I do not feel that I need a relationship with the donor and am not emotionally stunted as stated above. I simply have not found the "right man" to spend the rest of my life with. I have put a lot of thought into this decision and have thought of the Child throughout the whole process. Sperm donors are wonderful people who are providing a gift. It is a gift and one that does not require additional support once made. My child will know how they were created and will be told in terms that they can understand at various ages. The sperm donor will not be refered to as a "daddy" because he is not the father, he is a man that provided me with a wonderful gift and that is all. When the child is 18 if they want to try to contact the donor, they may do so but they will be told not to expect a relationship because one may not happen. Again the donor is not the father, he is related to them biologically....DNA does not make a parent.

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• cheryl Thu, Sep 29, 2011, 2:08 PM

  35. Thanks for airing this program!! We have a similar situation. My partner and I have a son. We became memebers of DSR about 3 years ago. We found two brothers for our son. We visit with them at least once a year. We try to get all three families together at the same time. The boys are 7,8 and 9. They are aware of the situation and understand that they are brothers. They are very loving children and they do actually look alike. We would absolutely love to have contact with our donor. We are hoping that one day this will happen. Ben is an amazing man to have come forward like he did!!! Thanks again for airing this!

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• joyce Fri, Sep 30, 2011, 3:20 AM

  36. I know using sperm donation is a great option for a lot of familes for good reasons. But this show really gives me pause. There should be a limit on how many times one donor's sperm can be used. The little girl's questions just broke my heart. It is absolutely normal for kids to desire, wish, and dream that Mommy and Daddy will be together and we can all be a family. I applaud Ben for his honesty. When he donated, he thought of the potential babies in the abstract. But now that the cat is out of the bag, I can't see him and Lauren having a happy life together. She will always be waiting for that knock on the door, and whether he admits it or not, he will always be wondering about his children, searching strangers' faces for a resemblance. It's human nature. What a compelling documentary. More, please!

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• Denby Fri, Sep 30, 2011, 5:23 PM

  37. I think this would make an awesome series. Ben didn't probably give it a second thought when he was a donor. Things happen for a reason. You could see the sparkle in his eye when he saw the children. His fiance is selfish and needs to get over it or out of his life.

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• Gene Fri, Sep 30, 2011, 5:41 PM

  38. Hi Ben, I think it's great that you were able to help those families, but it seems like something is missing in your own personal life that you find the need or even the obsession to meet these children. You haven't even started your own marriage and family as of yet. It's obvious that your fiance will not accept this sharing in the future should you continue to see your children. You will have to seriously look at your relationship before it's too late. How would you feel if you married, had children and divorced because of this need to meet????? "I don't know," won't work here..... These children you have met at this time aren't old enough to fully understand exactly who you are and what their future situation will be. It can give them false hopes and possible resentments. If they were teenagers and searched for "you" it would be a different story. If they contacted you it would be understandable for you to meet them. Though it too could pose different problems.

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• Unknown Fri, Sep 30, 2011, 6:11 PM

  39. I believe that Ben and Lauren should decide on how to deal with his donor kids. I understand that 70 kids are a lot to handle but I feel like if Lauren keep an open mind she may find the blessing in this. I feel like they forget that these are childern who didnt have an decision in this. If Lauren and Ben decide to one day have kids what wrong with alot of brothers and sisters????

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• Kelly Fri, Sep 30, 2011, 6:22 PM

  40. I was touched by this program. I can't wait to find out more. All I know is that in Abbey's eyes, Ben isn't just her biological father, but, really her knight in shining armor. Really sweet....my heart strings were tugged and I truly hope he doesn't just drop her as if she were nothing. My gut feeling tells me that he is a good man. It was really sweet to watch him play with Abbey and her brother.....Aiden? As I said, I can't wait to learn what happens next.

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• a Sat, Oct 1, 2011, 1:07 AM

  41. I too found this special very intresting and touching. Does anyone know if this was a one time airing or will they be showing more about the lives of these individuals?

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• umm Sat, Oct 1, 2011, 7:33 PM

  42. disturbing. what happens if the children do not search for their biological roots and fall in love * marry their biological siblings?

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• lisa howell Sat, Oct 1, 2011, 7:39 PM

  43. Ben seems like a very nice guy. His Fiance however is a Byotch. Get a grip so he has 74 plus kids who cares. he is not financially responslible for him. Its not like he went around having reckless sex and doesn't take care of his kids. Give him to me, I'll marry him. She need to get her head out of her *ss and realize what a great guy he is. get a grip fiance.

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• Angel Face Sat, Oct 1, 2011, 8:02 PM

  44. I wish lauren would shut up about it bc all of this happened before she act like the man cheated on her!!!

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• Tina Sat, Oct 1, 2011, 8:42 PM

  45. Ben doesn't need to meet any more of the children until they are over 18. My bio-dad walked out on me at age nine. I know the situation is different, but I imagine these children will feel the same way I did. Ben is a great guy, the children he saw had a great day with him. He will be the perfect "dad" in their minds. As time goes by, they will wonder why they were not good enough for him to visit or want to live with them. They will wonder what they did wrong. It will change their lives for the worst! No matter how much their mother explains it to them, it won't matter. He needs to wait until they are old enough to understand and make the decision on their own to see him and I hope the mother's don't push it. In meeting, it plants the seed. Having never met him, they don't wonder if it was something they did. The siblings meeting is great! Just met my bio-sis (same dad) 2 years ago and it is so wonderful.

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• noreen Sun, Oct 2, 2011, 1:48 AM

  46. Is this only going to be a one episode special? The show was very intriguing, and I figured there would be more since the show's description was "on his journey to meet the 70 children his donations have created." And in this episode he only meets with one family. Not much of a journey.. at least do a follow-up episode please?

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• Samantha Sun, Oct 2, 2011, 7:54 AM

  47. I hope this will be a series, not just the one episode. It's a very interesting story that really makes one think. Also, while other posters seem intent on saying Ben is at fault somehow, or sperm donorship or conceiving a child by that method is wrong, has anyone considered that maybe sperm banks have some ethical and/or legal responsibility to control the number of children fathered by one donor? How many children are out there that will never find * or even be aware of * all of their 1/2 siblings? When love, sex and marriage become involved, this becomes a very scary train of thought. And what about hidden diseases or recessive genes that they don't even know enough to test for yet? I also don't even want to get into the comments that these children "will need the donor in their lives at some point."

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• Samantha Sun, Oct 2, 2011, 7:56 AM

  48. To Angel Face Sat, Oct 1, 2011, 8:02 PM 44. I wish lauren would shut up about it bc all of this happened before she act like the man cheated on her!!! Apparently she did * they got married.

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• Kristen Sun, Oct 2, 2011, 9:05 AM

  49. PLEASE turn this special into a series! Follow up with the families. This is very intriguing and could be great for ratings!

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• Eggo Sun, Oct 2, 2011, 9:18 AM

  50. We need follow up! Are Ben * Lauren still getting married? (I really don't think they should considering these kids will always be in their life and she's not supportive.) Does he have the ability to meet these kids * forget them? And shame on sperm banks for not restricting the use of one person's sperm. That's dangerous.

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