There are certain things besides Fergie's lyrics that are "2000 and late": following the FDA's food pyramid and consuming 6-11 bread servings a day; having thick acrylic nails; wearing Ugg boots in 90-degree weather...with jeans. (Stop it, L.A.!)

And shoelaces—tying 'em, tripping over 'em, frustrating kids with the loopholes of learning 'em (thanks, Drew!)—I'm over 'em altogether!

But for the last year I've been way ahead of Mai time with a new discovery, and I decided to completely put it on blast after raving about it yet again today. I've discovered the absolute shiz of sneakers that will leave you clicking your heelz for more: North Face shoes featuring the Boa Lacing System. Brillz all the way. We're talkin' a literally genius lacing system that lets you pop your foot in and out of a well-laced shoe in seconds, thanks to an adorable li'l contraption inconspicuously tucked in the back to provide quick-click lacing.

Think security lines at airports, getting the kids outta the house, removing your shoes to get into your apartment again after remembering you forgot your BlackBerry halfway down the street...

Sigh. If only Boa could hold my B-berry, too.

Online Lookout: Zappos is sick with free shipping. Check out different colors and styles there for men and women.